


Conduit

by Elleth



Category: Stand Still Stay Silent
Genre: Canon-Typical Violence, Gen, Magic, Sharing a Body, Trolls
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-09
Updated: 2017-11-09
Packaged: 2019-01-31 03:57:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,218
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12673929
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Elleth/pseuds/Elleth
Summary: During a troll encounter on their solo trek, Emil learns a thing or two about Lalli's magic... up close and personal.





	Conduit

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Eluvia](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Eluvia/gifts).



> Partially inspired by [Kiraly's artwork](http://worldsentwined.tumblr.com/post/167064987329/emilposession) and Eluvia's Trick or Treat letter. (I'm sorry this is too late to come as a proper treat!)

_Stay. Calm._

Lalli's voice was strained in a way that Emil couldn't put down to his own insanity any longer, because either he knew Lalli better than he thought he did, or it was really Lalli speaking through gritted teeth in his head. 

"Okay. Okay, I'm calm. I'm calm. I'm not hearing this."

 _You_ are _hearing this. Idiot._

Emil's voice dropped into a frantic whisper. "I'm… I'm hearing this? What am I hearing?" 

_A trapped soul. This is what the Rash does when it infects you. This is what trolls are._

Emil swallowed around the sudden tightness in his throat. It'd only been a day - not even a full day! They were a few hours shy of dusk! - since he'd seen magic, actual honest, real magic that he couldn't explain any better. And then - hazy as the recollection was, Emil remembered that Lalli had showed up in his dream. In his mind. He remembered that he didn't mind him staying, at all. 

Lalli was a friend. Even the rudeness and caustic tone of his voice that made Lalli sound like an angry Finnish grandma couldn't convince Emil that all Lalli was doing was taking advantage of him. He was Lalli. A friend, even if, now that the language barrier between them was gone, 'idiot' seemed to be his favourite form of addressing Emil. 

He wasn't like some people Emil had known in public school, or in Cleanser training. 

But now it seemed that Lalli had… brought his magic to share it with Emil. There couldn't be any other explanation for the screaming inside his head that wasn't Lalli at all; it was Danish that sounded like radio static breaking apart a woman's voice, a horrible, fragmented, fingernails-on-slate screech pleading, so it could barely be understood, but repeating like a recording, so often that Emil understood it anyway. 

_a BLanKeT plEaSE. A bLaNKeT. I Am sO cOLd._

There were no hiding places in the village street Emil found himself in, and with Lalli's body at his mercy, he couldn't run. Emil dropped into a crouch in the corner of two buildings meeting at a right angle, the crumbling edge of the brickwork a reassuring spot of security against his back, pulled Lalli's body close to him, and pressed his arms over his ears.

It didn't matter. Unlike the giant's head on the train, this voice came from inside his head; none of the noise went away.

_a blANket PLeAsE. A BLanKeT. i aM so CoLD._

"Lalli, please. Help me." He couldn't see; tears were blurring his vision, and even though all he did was whisper, he could feel the tears and terror choke him. The troll was close, and for some reason he could tell. He reached for his rifle, wishing he still had his flamethrower instead.

 _I told you to stay calm. No guns, you'll wake everything._ A hesitation, brief enough to register as some irritating itch out of memory, before it was shoved aside with the tense certainty that put him in mind of that day in Copenhagen they'd run into the snowdrift and had to backtrack. _Breathe, Emil. Listen to my voice. It is close and it will find us, but I will_ not _let it hurt you. Focus. No guns. Focus._

He let go of the rifle. For the briefest second, Emil felt - _saw_ \- someone look at him. Not Lalli - but a woman almost like him in appearance, tall and standing framed by tree branches. A blue glow was in her eyes, and gathering in her open palm. A smaller hand reached for it. 

Lalli. Ensi. _Grandmother_. And when he reached for his grandmother's magic, a blue haze flickered along the edges of Emil's vision. He felt a cold, clear crackle like a crust of ice on the edge of a rapid brook pooling in his open hand, heard - _felt_ \- Lalli's presence calm and settle in him, the still well of the magic he poured out of him as through a conduit. It was exhilarating and heady, second only to having fire at his command. Emil's terror vanished and the voice in his mind quieted. He blinked the tears away.

Emil stood, just as the troll came into sight, planted his feet into the snow and waited for it to approach. 

A snow-pale, too-tall, upright shape with too many limbs on its skeleton frame and a face that was all mouth in its lower half was coming down the village street, and it set its dim eyes on Emil. The glow of blue increased; Emil saw or thought he saw, a flicker along the troll's spine twitching as though it wanted to resolve itself into some shape of its own, but couldn't.

 _Stay, Emil,_ Lalli said. Then, _Let go._

The troll turned its gaze on Emil. _A blAnkET?_ It asked half-hopefully, the first sign of inflection or recognition in its voice. Emil choked around a mouthful of air and new tears; breathing was impossible. The exhilaration vanished.

 _Idiot!_ Lalli snarled in his head. _Don't listen! Let go!_

The blue static flowed out of Emil's hand in a ball of energy no larger than a bullet, and pierced the troll's forehead. Soundless, it collapsed in on itself, a heap of bones held together by white-leather skin. 

In the lingering sharp ozone smell of the air after the passage of a thunderstorm without the cleansing rain, Emil felt his strength wash out from him, and his knees gave. 

He retched miserably, and brought up a mouthful of bitter, yellow bile into the snow before him, while the memory in his head played out - Lalli's grandmother lifting him from the snow, drained of his power, then darkness as he hid his face against her shoulder and she began walking homeward in a swift, waving step. 

Emil scooped up a handful of snow, rinsed his mouth of the worst of the taste, and leaned his head against the crumbling brick wall of the building next to him. 

He breathed.

 _You are so weak,_ Lalli said, and now he no longer sounded as caustic, but oddly calming, speaking almost at his usual, half-whispered murmur. _But you did well. Find us some shelter now; you need to rest. But listen first if there is anything in the house._

"Anything?" Emil managed, with difficulty. "You heard her! You hear them all, don't you?" 

Lalli didn't answer, and Emil couldn't help the feeling of vague unease. _Yes. I know they were people._ Were. _They aren't any longer; what I do is to save. Anyone who kills them does. How can you not know? She isn't trapped any longer. Now get up._

Emil staggered to his feet with difficulty. It seemed, from the pressure inside his head, that Lalli still held something back, but he knew better by now than to pry, or cheer Lalli when he finally understood why Lalli had behaved the way he did, and Tuuri was gone. He must have known. 

There wasn't any comfort, but if the tension hurt him, he couldn't imagine how much worse it must be for Lalli. "Let go," Emil said quietly. "It's okay. I'm here."

Silence. 

Emil tugged the knots on his makeshift sled tight and started looking for a suitable house to spend the night. Maybe things would look different in the morning.


End file.
